The Bright Side

I always swore I'd never move back here.

Back to the north, back to the cold, back to this town.

If life had a punch line, that would be mine.

Every place I go has a memory, every person I see has a history.

I go out here and I feel myself avoiding eye contact, talking less and retreating into the shell that protected me through high school. Reaching the end of my last job was the most heart wrenching experience I've gone through in my two and a half decades on this earth and coping with it and this place simultaneously is a daily test of resilience.

But I've made the decision to use this piece of my life as a springboard. I miss my girlies and will never stop praying for them but I choose to become better instead of bitter. This blog was meant to be a place where I find the shrapnel of happiness in the overwhelming mess that is daily life. Monty Python tells you to "always look on the bright side of life" and Dr. Seuss admits "my philosophy is simply: things could be worse". My inch of insight for today? If your life is a joke, learn to laugh at it.

Even though I'm back in a place I ran screaming from, I'm not that person any more.

Some things are the same...

...but some things are different. 

I drink tea on purpose because it's delicious.

I secretly clean the dishes when I'm feeling awkward.

I won't let being alone stop me from having fun.

I can get lost without leaving the path.

The path is more a set of "guidelines" than actual "rules".

I can't say no to people.

I won't be walked on. 

I choose to be happy and, as cliched as this sounds, find the silver lining in every cloud. Yes, I've moved back but my family is here. I don't have my old job but my new job is infinitely less stressful. I miss my friends down south but I missed my northern friends too. 

Everything's going to work out in the end. And if it hasn't worked out, it's not the end.