Sounds deep, doesn't it?
Some days it feels like life is this perpetual tension, this constant free fall backwards into the unknown. A twisting, wrenching in the pit of your stomach as wind whips past your ears and you recoil with the preemptive impact, praying that something will break your fall and never fully convinced that those arms will be there to catch you.
And it feels like you're falling forever.
I tried to quit my job the other day. I've been thinking about it for months, actively applying other places for weeks.
And I heard nothing back.
And then more nothing.
Then last week I hit my breaking point. My boss snapped at me and I realized that I couldn't pretend it was okay any more. And I made up my mind to quit even though I had no next job lined up, no interviews, no direction for my life at all really.
I spent two days practicing what I would say to my bosses, thinking it through from every angle, bouncing ideas off my parents. I went into Friday a mess of nerves and spent all ten hours of my shift trying to remember how to breathe.
And then my boss was late and I was dismissed for the weekend before I had the chance to say anything.
When we finally talked on Monday, I inexplicably walked away without breathing a word about quitting.
That night my inbox filled with rejection letters from half of the places I'd applied.
I was ready to free fall into nothing just to get myself off that ledge and God put me back up on it again.
Sometimes life is a trust fall.
And sometimes it's waiting for the next one.
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